Harry Potter and the new Generation

That title alone got your interest, didn’t it? Well, if it dinnae, then do I have the clickbait for you! Well, a third, if that sentence didn’t do it. As a Christian, I’m gonna let my kids read Harry Potter. I’ll probably have to get an entirely new edition though. Mine are falling apart.

It’s a part of an ongoing list of movies, tv shows and books that I’m compiling, from  my life, from 7-27, that inspired me, that I loved, and that had subtle impacts, and, in the case of Harry Potter,  Major impact on me.

Of course, I’ll be bring it back to God, to the bible and the Church. But I wanna let them see the world as depicted in these forms of media, and just how the world seems to work and evolve. I want my kids to do some critical thinking, to understand why and how God applies, and just who God even is to them. And how we should treat each other and ourselves. I want them to develop strong identities and be comfortable in who they are and who they are in Christ.

It seems odd, I guess, to want to show God to children with some decidedly unchristian pieces of work (I’m also Including San Manuel Bueno, Martir  and Laberinto   by Borges… or any existentialist piece, because I’m that insane),  but I really think these pieces helped me seek out God some more. I know how crazy it sounds, but I also know that without a search for something more, without wanting to see further than what I saw, without wanting to understand something greater, I couldn’t have decided to be where I am, and to get where I’m going.

So yeah, I know that the witchcraft in Harry Potter and the darker themes in it would put off most Christian parents, and I understand why. Witchcraft is a very real thing. It’s dangerous, and it can open you up to so much that you may not understand. And I will explain that, including my own desire as child and teen to want to explore that myself. But you can’t deny that the relationships developed and explored in the series can only be beneficial to a developing child. They’ll see examples of good and bad relationships, parents who do what is hard because of what was right. How harmful ideas are perpetuated, and how they are erased. How people treat others. They’ll develop their own ideals and ideas, based on what they’ve explored and seen and experienced. And I want them exposed to these and others. I want them to see these through their own eyes, as taught by a mother who experienced life in and out of the church as well.

D&D? No? ConLang, then

I ended last year really wanting to play D&D. I entered this year really wanting to play D&D. Unfortunately, with my schedule being the way it is, it’s hard for me to get a proper timing  to join a party. Although i do have an open invitation to one, so yay.

In the meantime, I have contracted the conlang bug. Well, maybe. That may not be the best analogy. either way, I’ve created four continents, all of which, naturally, will have multiple races, nations, and languages. but what languages are those? And there’s an intercontinental senate that governs a fair bit of areas, like trade and international relations and i dun’ know yet. And so many concepts are coming out of the woodwork, and thus, a need for language to define them, and, I really miss linguistics.

So, so far, I’ve decided on creating said languages, for this world. By myself, or with the help of my friends. I mean, one to help with the geography, one with the species and races, and well, me and another for the languages.  And even if this doesn’t evolve into our own little D&D-esque ttrpg, I’ll have a world and languages to help me write a story

But I now appreciate the years  that Tolkien put into his own languages. I haven’t even gotten to the vocabulary of my one language  properly yet. I’m still stuck on the phonological constraints that possibly define it.

Or maybe I’m doing something wrong?

Conlangers, any tips?

 

2016 – In Review+

Okay so naturally, like anyone else, the year he some good and bad points. I’ve shared some of mine, some of which I still am having trouble getting over or past. Still. It wasn’t all bad. 

Friends days out from January to December; going back to old fandoms and old (and new) movies (Veggietales!!!); Friends doing better in work after having a hard time of it; the plants maintained and thriving; friends married; jobs obtained and managing with healthy work relationships. 

New fandoms, old fandoms, Animarket convention (brother’s first con!) lots of D&D, comics, and of course Harry Potter. Lots of creating and crafting. Some new recipes. Less crochet but I made a couple bags with zips! So progress, even if I’m stalling. 

Sign language! 🤓🤓 TTSL level 1 course attended, but not graded 😐😐 I still practice tho. 

Now we get into it. 

Of course, after all of that, remember the one challenge I set out to complete this year? The reading challenge. It’s been my tablet background all year. Sad to say, I’ve only completed 10 out of a very doable 12. Less sad to say, it’s because other books distracted me 😋

So reading challenge above, what I completed below

 
Naturally, with Cursed Child coming out it  had to be on my list. And comics. Of course. And manga. And lit text books because they’re interesting damn it! I think the only one I really regret is Star  Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers because I think I sort of expected a Proto-GotG and got…. Misogynists in Space. Or a parody of it like, ???? 

Anyways 

So why didn’t I finish the challenge? Spoiler: it’s all books 

1) Harry Potter, because I have to reread it at some point, and I can’t just leave it alone after one. *3

2) Eragon. I’m finally  getting into the series after so very very long. But it’s taking me a while. It’s not a bad series, just, it takes me a while sometimes. *3(+1)

3)  The Name of the Wind. I  immediately had to read Wise man’s fear. It was necessary. *2

 4) comics. I’ve lost track of how many comics I’ve actually read since Hawkeye vs Deadpool , but it’s been quite a lot.  Halfway of Deadpool’s collection up to I don’t know when, Hawkeye 2012, Hawkeye 2015,2016, Dark Hawkeye, where it was really Bullseye spoiler  ,  Young Avengers, while reading Eragon’s last book, I’m also reading Grayson, I read Nightwing, reread Hawkeye vs Deadpool and Hawkeye 2012…

Umm so that’s *?? For comics read

5) yes it’s mostly the comics’ fault. 

6) and Harry’s. 

7) And maybe Albus Severus’. Because wtf would you try to make out with your Aunt, and break up Romione- TWICE!!!!

8) He broke Romione 

On the upside, I really am looking forward to sourcing more of Patrick Rothfuss’ works, and Kate Bishop is a fairly easy Hawkeye cosplay. And Scorpius is a soft little Marshmallow that deserves happiness

____

+ A lot actually happened this year. I loved every bit of it. But Books, tho. These always take precedence. Except 50 Shades. Why did I waste another day on this, I don’t know. I’ll blame my friend. Yes. Perfect scapegoat. It’s your fault, dude. 

Kids’ say

My friend has a kid who’s adorable as he is an old man at four. You could see the influence his mother’s family has had on him so far and dammit, they grew him up nice. You could see he’ll be a little heartbreaker when he’s ready. 

He also has hair that’s the perfect texture and length for a tasteful, cute little rat-tail of a braid. If it was any of his other aunties – my friends, who all know his family – yeah I’d attack their hair. We’ve all known each other for a decade-plus. We’re all pretty comfortable with each other

But this kid, it’s literally the second time in life he’s ever seeing me because location and schedules, so I’m like, “I wanna do this thing, but I’ll wait for his mother and ask her before I ask him if I could”. That confused my friends, which baffled me.  Dude I’m not gonna just start randomly playing with his hair. He doesn’t know me. I’m a stranger to him. And even then. What if that makes him uncomfortable? What if he doesn’t like it? What if his mother -sensibly- raised him not to let random people play with her child’s hair for their own amusement?

I mean, I guess I get it? One of my friends was raised to be respectful and affectionate toward adults and just-people in general. The other one basically sees children as the equivalent of adults, but tiny.

Still, I know that would freak me out at 26 if one of my parents friends, especially if this is the first time in years that’s I’m meeting you, and I barely knew you the last time, played with my hair.

(That actually happened at a conference that I  went to a couple years ago. Other attendees touched and petted my hair. Freaked me out. I played with my hair trying to make it more comfortable, like a cat licking its fur after being petted. They meant nothing by it, but still)

But that’s just it. Kids have a right to consent, just as much their parents have a right to say yes, you can play. 

I didn’t ask, and I forgot about it, until we left. Didn’t matter anyway. Everybody was so busy anyway. 

The parents do have a say in who interacts with their kids and how. It shows a level of trust between them and the ones that allow to act a certain way toward their children. But I think children have the final say. They know what they like, they know who they trust. 

And you have to know your boundaries. 

Before I chicken out

This is a topic that I’ve had in mind ever since I started this blog  years ago. But this is something that I really do need to address. This will affect the way I’m viewed, by myself, by my family and friends, by my followers and readers.

I’m afraid that this may cause me to lose some, but I honestly hope that isn’t the case, mainly because I could really use you all for support and accounting.

Bad habits are fun to create, hell to break. And I feel like that is meant literally.

Sex.

Basically.

That’s my habit. A major one.

Lemme explain.

I haven’t actually had sex yet. But sex and sexual actions are a vice for me. I keep saying that I need to break out of it. For reasons personal, spiritual, and emotional.

 

It started years ago, maybe more than 10 years ago, and it’s built up steadily over the years. It was a way to explore and get to know myself. Then a way to gain control over myself. A way to calm me down, to get sleep after studying, to give a sense of stability that I felt I needed.

Then pornography, getting more and more wild, getting deeper and deeper into learning and understanding  different fetishes and the like.

One good thing, I know what I would consider allowing to happen to me, and where I would draw the line. Almost a bittersweet consolation.

Still, as a Christian woman, this isn’t something I want hanging over me. I want a husband, I want a family, and I don’t want them to be subjected to the things I was, growing up – pornography and adultery being prominent regarding this particular subject. I really don’t want to perpetuate the cycle, and suggest that it’s okay for my sons and daughters to do.

In my head, I know that this is wrong. In my spirit, I’m constantly aware of the sinfulness behind it. Sex isn’t bad, but sexual immorality is. And these things fall under that. Emotionally, I don’t want to bear any more guilt about it. And it will get worse once I’m in a relationship if it continues. Given that last point, I’m glad I’m not in a relationship now.

Yet in my body, maybe in my heart, I really don’t want to stop it. It gave me  a sense of control over myself. It’s helped me sleep when I couldn’t. It pandered to the idea of being sexually wanted by men, even if it was a general audio, with descriptions of women vastly different to me.

It’s terrifying writing this, given that while a fair share of the female population do watch porn,  it’s not something many admit. Or even admit that it’s a problem. We’re aware of men’s sexual habits and vices that break up marriages and relationships, but we don’t talk about women’s.

And I think that’s how I want to start this spoke in the wheel. Admit that as a woman, I do this, admit that it’s a problem, admit that as a Christian that I’m seriously messed up and have seriously messed up. And start breaking it.

 

 

Pinterest worthy Prayer life

pinterest

I love my prayer journal. I love my bible study journals. Multiple, because, why not? Plus, I mean, multiple days for multiple topics, and there was so much pretty things and stationary and sense of purpose….

You see what I’m getting at?

I dunno when it happened, but it just dawned on me that so much of my journaling was – probably is to be honest – just about the action. having journals, making use of all those notebooks and  pretty journals I collected over the years, then having an excuse to buy more. It’s bible study after all. Improving prayer life. Learning  how to be a better Christian.

And yes, all those things are necessary. All those things are important in and of themselves. And having specific themes and topics studied and put down for later reference does come in handy. You are studying after all. Just like school, it’s good to have notes at your fingertips when it comes to learning, and being ready, and preparing to apply it.

Still, I have to admit Pinterest is a good source to start, but I think I’m getting a little too tied up in the presentation and potential of it all. I have my own method, and it’s working great for me. Still I’m looking for more, and how to be more creative, how to make my stuff more Pinterest worthy.

It cheapens the whole process. Almost falsifies it, I think. I dunno.

Presentation is important, true.

But life isn’t always perfect or presentable. There are ups and downs. Messes, perfect triumphs however big or small.

When I started my prayer journal, I knew it  wouldn’t be perfect. I knew there would be scratches and messy colouring, perfect handwriting, messy handwriting, lots of rewording because I never properly think through what i want to say and how I should say it. And in the beginning, remembering this, I was happy with it. I felt more…. purposeful. Now, looking at the posts and submissions on Pinterest, I’m getting a little less happy. Feeling like I could do better. Do more, make it prettier. Same with my bible study journals.

That’s a mistake on my part.

It’s a new day and a new chance to get back on track. First step is to admit my problems and mistakes. Next step is to do.

Maybe it’s time to close the tab.