A Mother’s Love – Re: On Actions and Consequences

For the longest while, there has been a few viral videos of parents posting their methods of punishment on their children’s Facebook pages in response to said children’s actions while on the internet. “For a good time call- yuh modda for a cut-ass“. There have been different responses to this video. Some say that Trinidad and Tobago should move away from this sort of violence against her children. Such abuse can lead to a bleak future.

On the other hand, others say she deserved it. Her actions called for nothing less, since she as a 12 year old girl, posed for everybody and anybody to see her in her underwear and whatever. The response video posted by her family expressed as much, and we gather that much from the licks-video posted by her mother c/o her siblings.

My mother just got overly happy about it. ._.

In the video, you can see the frustration of the mother. She’s had to deal with this sort of behaviour from her daughter several times in the past, while at primary school. Now she’s a form 1 student, and her attitude and behaviour have worsened. This final act, posting sexually suggestive poses of herself on Facebook, just broke her mother. The woman wants better for her children than she got. They have access to education, food, a house to live in, computers and internet access for school. The mother does what she does to ensure that her children don’t have to sacrifice or suffer as much as she doing for them.

But in the video we see the fallout of the abuse of resources by a child, and the frustration of a mother after trying her best to ensure a better life for her children.

Honestly, I’m on the side that says the girl deserves it. I’m on the side saying that her actions had certain consequences. I’m on the side which says that she’s lucky her mother cared enough to punish her and nip her behaviour in the bud before some other, more serious consequence gets a chance to come out in the open.

What people fail to realise, is that there is a difference between getting licks for punishment and being physically abused. What determines physical abuse? What defines punishment by licks?

Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy. Examples of physical abuse are:

Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.Pulling your hair.Pushing or pulling you.Grabbing your clothing.Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or other weapon.Smacking your bottom.Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.Grabbing your face to make you look at them.Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere.

http://m.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/what-is-physical-abuse

Punishment by licks- it’s really not as bad as many people make it out to be. Many parents today have been victims of true physical abuse at the hands of their parents and truly want something different for their own children. If a child gets licks, it’s honestly a last resort, and saved for the direst of offences. It’s not that every parent hits their children for every wrong. Some have embraced restricting use or access to certain luxuries and privileges. And for some, it’s worked. For others,  however, not so much.

And it seems that the latter is the case for Little Miss Viral Video.

But it seems she’s understood the error of her ways now, and understands what her mother was doing and why (links below) She’s embarrassed now, but she learned an important lesson.

Now where are the videos about the boys involved?

But I’m digressing.

As a child, I’d been given every kind of luxury I could imagine – education from the best of the best institutions that we could afford. Allowances. A car. That extra cable package so I could watch Doctor Who on TV. A laptop for school, a tablet for school, any YA book I fancy at the time. I’ve had just to express a suggestion or a passing desire. Just utter a wish and immediately (or almost immediately) I’d get it.

As a child, I’d also been punished for just about every wrong I’d done. I’d gotten licks with dabla, broomstick, belt, shoes, newspaper, whatever. So have my sister and brother after me. I’m writing this, not because I’m expressing how horrible my parents are. Quite the contrary. Each of us had gotten licks at the hands of our parents, only when they’d reached the end of their ropes. We’d gotten the belt only when talking would no longer help rectify the circumstances of our stubborn childishness and teenaged belligerence.

And I think we’re better off for it. Not saying we’re perfect. Hardly. Even now, my brother and I get into fights. Even now I constantly make mistakes and act in very childish ways. But the lessons instilled in me by my mother’s (and father’s) efforts and heavy hand over the years have stuck with me.

I’d gotten licks, a few, wellgood cuttails.

And I’m not dead. I’m not traumatised. I know right from wrong. I think for myself, and (for the most part) I think before I act and speak. I’m open to criticism and take advice (even if grudgingly) about parts of my character that need help.

I’ve become a well-rounded person, even with all of that.

So, really, I can only talk about my own personal experiences. But I can say there are merits in giving your children a lash when they do wrong. It’s not the only method, but it’s rather effective. A child’s actions have consequences, they have to learn that. Do good, you will be rewarded, do wrong, you will be punished, according to the severity of the act.

Banning such punishment in the home can only harm the society that aims for it. The basis of a good society begins at home, with its morals and punishments and all. And if the punishments are gone, where does that leave the future of Trinbagonian society?

For more info on this whole incident I’m adding the following links
http://www.trinidadexpress.com/news/Mom-in-Facebook-beating-I-didnt-abuse-her-256633801.html?m=y&smobile=y
http://www.guardian.co.tt/news/2014-04-24/girl-facebook-beating-apologises-mom-i-know-you-love-me-dearly
http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2014/04/27/video-of-mum-belting-daughter-for-sending-sexually-explicit-texts-viral/

– K. ~

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Christian Pride? Arrogance in the Church

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In the Old Testament, the Jews were the chosen by God to be the people through which the Messiah would come. And several times in the OT, their pride in this status got them in trouble. Sure, God brought them out of trouble several times, but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t punished, even though they were chosen for a purpose.

I’m not Jewish, but the same could apply for Christians under grace, post-New Testament. All people are loved by God, no matter our shortcomings, and rebellious and childish ways. Forgiveness, grace, and mercy, and salvation, are all afforded to us, once we go to Him and ask it of Him. Many will tell you otherwise, but that’s wrong, and they’re wrong for telling you that.

Why would they tell you that, don’t they read? Cuz, from what I’ve heard, and read, I’ve yet to meet some part in the book saying that God hates any human, and that these gifts are only for Christians. Sure, I’ve seen places where God tells you if you do wrong, consequences naturally follow. You could see where God is displeased with our actions as misguided people, and how we can go about righting these wrongs in His eyes (not necessarily in the eyes of men). But He loves us, who are His creation. He convicts our wayward heart, when we, naturally wicked children, do wrong. Like a good parent, who chastises a child when he does wrong. Because that parent cares. Would He do that if he didn’t care? Or if He wasn’t there?

But I’m digressing. This was supposed to be about the arrogance of Christians. Cuz, like the Jews we learned about in the OT, who were arrogant for their status as God’s chosen people, NT Christians (like us) tend to get arrogant about their status as His children.

Myself included.

Sure, His hand has been working on my life since before I was born, from getting into the school of choice for my topnotch primary education and my mother’s peace of mind for her children’s safety, to getting into my school of choice for secondary school education, to helping me through thesis year (ack!), to giving me an interest in language and translation; from the big things like my parents’ lives and wealth for their comfort in their upcoming latter years, to the tiny things like getting to see a TV episode that happened to cross my mind just randomly access to the internet and other resources for me to learn just about anything I could imagine. Like new languages. And crochet.

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I always say it – I’m God’s baby girl, his pretty little princess. He’s spoiled me rotten and I’m not gonna give that up so easily. And I admit, I get pretty arrogant about it. But like I said – I’m spoiled.

Still, it seemed my heart was convicted. I could be proud of who I am in Him. I’m glad that I’m happy, healthy, safe, well-provided for, basically get everything I could ever want and everything I could ever need. Yet thinking this way could make one arrogant. It certainly makes me over-proud at times.

God has no problem with us being glad in Him and for what He gives us. He has no problem with us telling people about his goodness and what He’s done for us. But it helps if we are humble with it. Because, be they believer or not, people do not react well to Hubris and bragging.

Also – Mommy says it, and I’ve heard it said otherwise, too – if you are secure in your faith, and your position, and your belief in God, you have no need for Hubris, no need for pride. You will have a humble spirit. Naturally. Because you know you’re His. Why get belligerent, when God is on your slide?

I need help when it comes to that. But I’m willing to learn.

– K. ~

Blood red moon – 15 April 2014 (or Insomniac’s Log of Amateur Stargazing)

http://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/in/trinidad-and-tobago/port-of-spain

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Tonight, from 0055 my brother and I have been tracking the blood moon. I’ve been taking pictures.

So far, at 2:08, we’re arguing about whether we’re at half-moon or 3/4. At any rate, it’s cold, and it has yet to change colour, but it’s crescenting, somewhat.

Update:  2:19
Laziness, chess (I’ve won both games)and RPG’s with my brother – I’m Mycroft Holmes and he’s Sherlock; alternatively, he’s Deadpool and I’m Bob =[

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We’ve gone back to checking progress every hour. Total eclipse begins at 3:08. So far, it’s unlike the descriptions, (yellow/white instead of the described grey, but it did get a tinge of red) and my camera’s pretty disappointing

More in, like, forty minutes.

Update: 2:42
Seriously! When they said total eclipse, I didn’t think that meant by the clouds. D:

Update: 2:51
Anybody else having Sailor Moon flashbacks?

I am

It’s almost completely dark – if the cloud worked as well as they do in the outside world, we’d be sufficiently covered…..
(What no laughs for those puns?)

Also almost in total eclipse and I’m not seeing a red moon yet

Update: 3:10
It’s there, and red, but I can’t get the camera to focus on it. Also, cloud coverage. But I saw it, so really all that matters.

Now I’m off to bed. We have five months to the next one.

Watch “Common Errors by Young Children Acquiring a Sign …” on YouTube

Common Errors by Young Children Acquiring a Sign …: http://youtu.be/DP1v8icEFro

I’m a little bit of a language freak. And naturally, stuff like this makes me happy. For those looking to teach your kids a second language, try a manual language. You’d be surprised about how easy it’ll be for them later in life to learn another language, spoken or manual.