Well, today was interesting, to say the least….

I sort of knew it would be, since I knew that 1) I’d have to go and find a place I was unaware of for an interview Friday coming (Guatemalan embassy -3 months bilingual secretary, I wants it, please pray for me!!) And then 2) rush into Chaguanas to join with fellow youths and pray and declare our love for Jesus and to do however the Spirit leads. (Dude!! Talk about awesome experiences!! I’m not an immediate outgoing person. Evangelism and going out, I love it, but I’m not too out there. I’ll talk and communicate but still.  And yet. And yet. I wasn’t preaching. That was for others. But we chanted, we prayed, we handed out tracts, we sang. We communicated with the borough and among ourselves. Dred, I dunno about y’all, but it was more than I imagined, and hoped for, since honestly, I wasn’t sure I was ready at all. Plus that weather, oui! Bad! (And it cleared up, but the grace of God!))

And 3) I could be losing a friend. It’s one disagreement that will never rest between us, the LGBTQ movement. It’s literally the basis of our conversations, whether it directly deals with it or not, and even whether she’s included or not. After an enormous Facebook comment war (read “conversation”) earlier this year, we mostly left it alone. She continued bringing it up, I left it. And we went like that.

Long story short, today my brother not-so-curtly ( more overtly and loud and insistent) in one sentence told her to shut up and move on. I (not as rudely) commented that I agree that we should stop, since we will never agree and it’s irritating everyone who doesn’t really care to read our debate(well I didn’t say the last part, but I did say that we should just drop it.)

Yeah, she’s never sharing her opinion with us anymore (“☺” at the end of her comment). [Although in her comments she contradicted her own points and basically proved what we were saying and guahhhhhh]

I have to admit that I got catty with her and said that I agree since it goes both ways (“:)” at the end of mine), thinking about where telling my opinion (in mentioned previous conversation) was met with disgust and showing the wrong in my Christian beliefs.

Okay, my reaction was wrong, I do admit. Totally unbefitting how a Christian is supposed to act, and I ask forgiveness for it. But if this is how such an influence against spiritual growth is supposed to be removed, God, your will be done.

And in the future she may come to Christ, or she may not. I don’t know. It’s between her and God. If she is to be removed, let it be so. But I will continue to pray for her.

For her, for me, for this, for this present time, these verses stood out to me.

Genesis 13: 8-9
Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no quarreling between me and you, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself now from me. If you go to the left, then I’ll go to the right, but if you go to the right, then I’ll go to the left.”

For now, let’s just agree to disagree and possibly never talk. It’ll be painful, and I’ll feel guilty, but really, this gives neither of us peace or growth, and it’s unnecessarily stressful. For both of us. If and when we agree on this, or other things, we’ll pick up. But for now, please, let’s let it go. I’ll pray for you, you don’t have to do anything for me.

Psalms 42: 11
Why are you depressed, O my soul?
Why are you upset?
Wait for God!
For I will again give thanks
to my God for his saving intervention.

I have to remind myself that good things aren’t always gonna be sweet and smooth. Most times than not, it’s downright painful, and guilt-causing, and stressful. God wants the best for me, and I trust him. I knew that I was feeling the stress of continuing this friendship. I lost my joy and peace, and it, most times, riled me. God has his hand on this, and it’ll be for the best.

I’m sorry if it has to end, but I’m not sorry if it’s in my best interest to leave you be.

– K. ~


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