Pinterest worthy Prayer life

pinterest

I love my prayer journal. I love my bible study journals. Multiple, because, why not? Plus, I mean, multiple days for multiple topics, and there was so much pretty things and stationary and sense of purpose….

You see what I’m getting at?

I dunno when it happened, but it just dawned on me that so much of my journaling was – probably is to be honest – just about the action. having journals, making use of all those notebooks and  pretty journals I collected over the years, then having an excuse to buy more. It’s bible study after all. Improving prayer life. Learning  how to be a better Christian.

And yes, all those things are necessary. All those things are important in and of themselves. And having specific themes and topics studied and put down for later reference does come in handy. You are studying after all. Just like school, it’s good to have notes at your fingertips when it comes to learning, and being ready, and preparing to apply it.

Still, I have to admit Pinterest is a good source to start, but I think I’m getting a little too tied up in the presentation and potential of it all. I have my own method, and it’s working great for me. Still I’m looking for more, and how to be more creative, how to make my stuff more Pinterest worthy.

It cheapens the whole process. Almost falsifies it, I think. I dunno.

Presentation is important, true.

But life isn’t always perfect or presentable. There are ups and downs. Messes, perfect triumphs however big or small.

When I started my prayer journal, I knew it  wouldn’t be perfect. I knew there would be scratches and messy colouring, perfect handwriting, messy handwriting, lots of rewording because I never properly think through what i want to say and how I should say it. And in the beginning, remembering this, I was happy with it. I felt more…. purposeful. Now, looking at the posts and submissions on Pinterest, I’m getting a little less happy. Feeling like I could do better. Do more, make it prettier. Same with my bible study journals.

That’s a mistake on my part.

It’s a new day and a new chance to get back on track. First step is to admit my problems and mistakes. Next step is to do.

Maybe it’s time to close the tab.

 

Advertisements

We are all Edmund

Yes, I’m referencing a tumblr post, found on Facebook, on a WordPress blog, that links back to tumblr. Ain’t dissemination wonderful?

Everyone on tumblr who comes across any post have at least once used an Edmund gif as #relatable, #me, #tbhMe, etc. Also, he’s indeed sassmaster supreme. 

But he’s more relatable than we think. Sure he’d rather not spend his time outside. Yes, we all think his siblings insufferable sometimes. And yeah, we like to come off better than we feel to others. 

But I really think the description in the text post actually sums up my point. All of this is true. And a little on the nose for C.S. Lewis. Aslan as the model for the Christ figure. Yeah, it’s not a boop to the nose. It’s the full palm. 

His other siblings clearly show admirable characteristics- bravery, honour, wisdom and caution, truthfulness, kindness, responsibility. Edmund doesn’t. Not immediately. He’s childish, immature, a liar, even if for fear of being babyish as Lucy was perceived despite both of them experiencing Narnia. He sold out his family for sweets. 

One of the easiest things to do would be to sort them by the Hogwarts house systems. Sweet, innocent Lucy, who believes in the good of the beings around her, but who would fiercely oppose Evil – Hufflepuff. Susan, who looked at things with logic, caution,  and common sense could easily be Ravenclaw. Honour-bound Peter looked after his siblings, saw to it that he fulfilled his responsibilities, and rallied them no matter  what they did is clearly Gryffindor. Edmund knew the reality they faced. They were displaced because of war. His family is separated. He’s upset and makes it known, even if he can’t express what the problem is. He knows what he wants to be perceived as, and aims to portray it. He sold his siblings for sweets. Yeah he’s Slytherin. 

But it’s more than that. 

He was all those things. He did all those things. Those characteristics and his past experiences only helped make him “the Just”. He learned where he went wrong in Narnia. He wanted out. 

He wasn’t perfect. Far from it. I’m sure he had his faults even after the battle. ( Honestly, I’ve only ever read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe)

He faltered. He had his moments of doubt. But he looked to Aslan, and saw what Aslan did for him. He forgave Edmund. He allowed him Grace. He died for Edmund. Edmund found out, constantly, that he was worth it. And those are things you can’t come back from after the implications of that hit you. And you can’t help but love the person who would give his life for you without an second thought. 

As I said, Aslan as the Christ figure is well on the nose. 

You know when you’ve been just out all day, and you can’t really function, and you know you need to just wash everything off and change, but you’re so exhausted that you’re just tempted to drop on the floor and stay there forever? I’ve been there spiritually for a while. It had to take this exact text post for me to try harder at getting clean and refreshed.

I’ve tried to be Lucy. I’m too much like Edmund. But like Edmund I have that second chance. Way too much, but I’ll take it.